15 Reasons Why Living with Me is like Having a Poltergeist

small-ghost-cute
I recently moved to a new haunt with the Final Guy, which inspired me to write this short listicle:

  • Generally disruptive
  • Mostly active at night
  • Skittish
  • Territorial
  • Pale as f@%$
  • Moves your furniture around at random
  • Prefers dark places and low temperatures
  • Compelled to read everything*
  • Attracted to TV and other electronic devices
  • Makes spooky noises when upset
  • Harasses your pets**
  • Scared of cameras
  • Hates being sprinkled with salt
  • Will steal your blanket at 3 in the morning
  • Often refuses to leave the house

*Some parapsychologists say that because haints are terribly curious, they are compelled to read all text they come across. By papering your walls with newspaper, you can frustrate them and push them to move on. The more you know…
**With cuddles.

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