15 Reasons Why Living with Me is like Having a Poltergeist

I recently moved to a new haunt with the Final Guy, which inspired me to write this short and very spooky listicle, explaining why living with me is essentially living in a haunted house.

  • Generally disruptive
  • Mostly active at night
  • Skittish
  • Territorial
  • Pale as f@%$
  • Moves your furniture around at random
  • Prefers dark places and low temperatures
  • Compelled to read everything*
  • Attracted to TV and other electronic devices
  • Makes spooky noises when upset
  • Harasses your pets**
  • Scared of cameras
  • Hates being sprinkled with salt
  • Refuses to leave the house
  • Will steal your blanket at 2 in the morning

small-ghost-cute

(Fun fact, our first-ever movie date was the 2015 Poltergeist remake. The movie itself was… okay, but the date was excellent and I felt like a very lucky ghoul indeed. I still do.)

Photo byΒ Toa HeftibaΒ onΒ Unsplash

*Some parapsychologists say that because haints are terribly curious, they are compelled to read all text they come across. By papering your walls with newspaper, you can frustrate them and push them to move on. #themoreyouknow
**With cuddles.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s