15 Reasons Why Living with Me is like Having a Poltergeist

small-ghost-cute
I recently moved to a new haunt with the Final Guy, which inspired me to write this short listicle:

  • Generally disruptive
  • Mostly active at night
  • Skittish
  • Territorial
  • Pale as f@%$
  • Moves your furniture around at random
  • Prefers dark places and low temperatures
  • Compelled to read everything*
  • Attracted to TV and other electronic devices
  • Makes spooky noises when upset
  • Harasses your pets**
  • Scared of cameras
  • Hates being sprinkled with salt
  • Will steal your blanket at 3 in the morning
  • Often refuses to leave the house

*Some parapsychologists say that because haints are terribly curious, they are compelled to read all text they come across. By papering your walls with newspaper, you can frustrate them and push them to move on. The more you know…
**With cuddles.

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Ghoul, Interrupted

A little over a year ago, I wrote a short post about Zombie Awareness Month and the dangers of letting oneself be slowly consumed. I wrote it at a time when I felt my fears closing in on me, intent on pulling me apart piece by piece. Quelle dramatique I know, but I’ve found a useful way to help me understand and process the challenges of this past year is to relate them to a zombie invasion scenario.

This guy knows what I’m talking about. (Click here for source)

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