Slay Bells: Three Creepy Christmas Monsters (that aren’t Krampus)


It’s happening again; bells are jingling, choirs are singling, the three-ring Christmastime consumer circus is ringling. In my drought-ravaged southern hemisphere home, things are looking more Fury Road than Miracle on 34th Street, and I’m thinking longingly of those fabled midwinter festive tableaux that our styrofoam-snow-scattered air-conditioned shopping mall displays don’t quite capture.

Christmas up in the north has a decidedly dark side that delights me, coinciding as it does with the winter solstice, the death of the year, and the centuries-old human struggle against the night. And here, as one might expect, be monsters. Continue reading “Slay Bells: Three Creepy Christmas Monsters (that aren’t Krampus)”


Wintertide Weirdness: Seven Snowy Terrors to Chill Your Heart


Winter, or what passes for winter in the drought-stricken semi-desert this poor pale ghoul inhabits, has arrived, and while the season’s rainfall has been thoroughly underwhelming, there is the occasional morning of grey sky to look forward to. This brief relief from the Dreaded Daystar has turned my thoughts to wintry horror stories and settings.

Between the cloud cover, the hours spent playing Until Dawn with my bestie, and the return of a certain frosty undead army to our TV screens, I thought now would be an appropriate time to write a bit about my favourite winter-centric monsters, creatures and tales. Continue reading “Wintertide Weirdness: Seven Snowy Terrors to Chill Your Heart”

15 Reasons Why Living with Me is like Having a Poltergeist

I recently moved to a new haunt with the Final Guy, which inspired me to write this short listicle:

I recently moved to a new haunt with the Final Guy, which inspired me to write this short listicle:

  • Generally disruptive
  • Mostly active at night
  • Skittish
  • Territorial
  • Pale as f@%$
  • Moves your furniture around at random
  • Prefers dark places and low temperatures
  • Compelled to read everything*
  • Attracted to TV and other electronic devices
  • Makes spooky noises when upset
  • Harasses your pets**
  • Scared of cameras
  • Hates being sprinkled with salt
  • Will steal your blanket at 3 in the morning
  • Often refuses to leave the house

*Some parapsychologists say that because haints are terribly curious, they are compelled to read all text they come across. By papering your walls with newspaper, you can frustrate them and push them to move on. The more you know…
**With cuddles.

Ghoul, Interrupted

A little over a year ago, I wrote a short post about Zombie Awareness Month and the dangers of letting oneself be slowly consumed. I wrote it at a time when I felt my fears closing in on me, intent on pulling me apart piece by piece. Quelle dramatique I know, but I’ve found a useful way to help me understand and process the challenges of this past year is to relate them to a zombie invasion scenario.

This guy knows what I’m talking about. (Click here for source)

Continue reading “Ghoul, Interrupted”

Kind Monsters, Living-Dead Girls and Sad Scribblings

Long ago, when my hair was brown and my age in single digits, I would dress my motley assortment of Barbie dolls in their fanciest gowns, dab some baby powder on their faces and press a pair of painstakingly-handcrafted Plasticine vampire fangs to their lips. They would all take turns playing the roles of Dracula’s murderous brides and Bram Stoker’s human heroines. It should be noted that they did a commendable job. Continue reading “Kind Monsters, Living-Dead Girls and Sad Scribblings”

Date Night, Depression and Some Thoughts on the Shortcomings of Monsters

“Remember: that giants sleep too soundly; that witches are often betrayed by their appetites; dragons have one soft spot, somewhere, always; hearts can be well-hidden, and you can betray them with your tongue.”
– Neil Gaiman, Instructions


I emerged from the depths of my desk a few nights ago to drag myself into the living world and watch Lights Out with my fabulous Final Guy.

Based on the elegant short film that led to the feature length production, I was really expecting something a bit smarter and slicker – that said, it was still visually lovely and well-acted, with a few satisfying jump-scares thrown in. The perfect complement to an evening of snuggles and popcorn. Continue reading “Date Night, Depression and Some Thoughts on the Shortcomings of Monsters”

Wasted on the Living

twinkiesLife has had me by the throat lately, with undeadlines and the like ruling my nights and days. But in the spirit of Zombie Awareness Month, I am attempting to rejoin the world of the living, even if that means nothing more than writing the occasional blog about something I love.

Something to think about in the coming days while rewatching Shaun of the Dead or poring over your favourite chapters of World War Z. Destruction doesn’t always come towards us in the form of a shuffling, brain-hungry horde that we can face head-on with a well-aimed swing of a cricket bat. More often it creeps up on us in more insidious ways and gently eats at us, pulls the life from us mouthful by mouthful, leaving our eyes glassy and our insides empty. It may not fall on us with gnashing teeth and lolling tongues, but be assured it will consume us as inevitably as a pack of Z’s if we fail to fight back.

What’s gnawing at you right now, and what survival strategy do you have in place to take it down? This Zombie Awareness Month, let’s all take a stand against those things that would stealthily eat us alive. Stay strong, my fiends.